NOooooo.

Police hunting the 'knitting needle nutter', who has stabbed six people in the surrounding area in the last 48 hours, believe the attacker could be following some kind of pattern.

I'm sure the bobbins will stop the search unravelling

Sorry, I meant bobbies

Hiding her knitting needles.....

That was a purler of a joke.

Police are unraveling the crime as they go.

Wool they would.

Flash news! Murderer just strangled himself with a hank of wool.
Mystery solved.

Not true.
Someone was just spinning a yarn.
They haven't a thread of evidence.

I will be back tomorrow.......can't think of anything else.
Will be dreaming 'woolly' dreams tonight....

Good thing it didn't prove to be too knotty a problem. And that the police were able to follow the evidence thread.

Suapect taken into custody earlier this evening claims...
'I have been stitched up'.
Local drug dealer Hank Wooley has been placed on suicide watch as police fear that he may be a jumper.
In breaking news lead investigator Chief Inspector Al Paca told your reporter...
'Enquiries continue but we hope to have this case all sewn up soon'

And so say all of us.
Sweater now pressed with a warm iron,hung on hanger to settle.
Needles and wool filed for next interrorogation.
In case of a jail break by woolly prisoner.
Who at the moment is langushing in his cell.
Looking through his knitting pattern for a new start.

Suspect released on police bail this morning as enquiries continue.
The case appears to be unravelling by the hour.
Meanwhile armed police swooped on an isolated Cardiganshire farmhouse where fugitive kitten Fluffy Merino was reported to have been spotted playing with a ball of wool.
Constabulary sources decline to confirm if there may be a connection to the knitting needle murders.
In a statement released earlier press liaison officer WPC Purl Stytch speaking at the scene said..
'No arrests have been made and at this stage whilst there is no cause for immediate alarm we are advising members of the knitting community to be aware at all times as to the whereabouts of their baskets, not to approach suspicious kittens and immediately report any missing items to the local police station'.
Fluffy Merino also known as The Teflon Kitten was released last month from Parkhurst hih security cattery after serving five to ten days for 'getting at the cream'. Interviewed on BBC Radio Wales Miss Merino's solicitor Mr Colin Crochet said 'My client denies any responsibility in these heinous crimes. She is currently out of the country visiting friends and could never have been in Cardiganshire during the last few days'. Ms Merino has not nor ever was a contract Kitten she has never heard of the Mafia. What is that anyway?. These gross calumnies have been perpetrated against my client by some dogs withtheir own nefarious agendas'.

Fluffy Merino gathered his henchmen together for planning the next raid.....
Also arranged the escape attempt from Alcaltraz Feather prison under the direction of the Robin Bird man.

On threat of extinction if no aid was given in this escape attempt.
Wool shops complaining of thefts of cartons of wool by the box full.
Knitting needles in short supply.
Rabbit holes are appearing on Dartmoor,fuzzy-wuzzy wool is drastically needed.
please assist where possible....

After coming home sad from a date, a young woman told her mother: "Tom proposed to me tonight."
"So, why are you unhappy?" her mother asked.
"Because he told me tonight that he's an atheist. Mom, he doesn't even believe there's a Hell."
"Marry him anyway," her mother said. "Between the two of us, we'll show him how wrong he is."