Forum Behaviour

[Wes]

Looking at the recent posts in the "Is Spiritualism really evolving?" thread, I have to say I am really disappointed at the type of behaviour present in this forum compared to a year ago. The occasional quickly resolved spat from back then has been replaced by an ongoing fued that seems to be drawing people in on one side or the other. For me personally, it's reached the point where I dread starting a topic that might end up drowning in trivial or argumentative posts.

If people would pay attention to the old football saying "play the ball, not the man" and focus on what is being said, rather than who is saying it and how it is being said, then perhaps this forum would be a more tolerant platform for the sharing of information and points of view.

[Admin]

Agreed Wes, maybe I need a yellow card system.

[mac]

I agree that there's way too much of this behaviour BUT this website, these forums, are fairly typical of my other 'regulars'. It's down to two main issues as I see things.

Firstly many postings quickly change from a topic discussion or debate to that of anecdotes, a 'what-happened-to-me' scenario. The thread then becomes a succession of personal stories and goes off-topic as contributors either back-slap or argue with one another. Discussion of the original topic largely ceases. That's often the norm on forum boards and we're stuck with it.

The second, although less frequent occurrence, is a break-out of character attacks. That should be stamped on immediately in my view. There's not a single reason to allow any such postings and in my view the member should be cautioned, offending postings removed and a note to explain why should replace them. That means more work for owners and/or moderators but would show what's not acceptable.

One will never prevent personality clashes but their presence in discussion topics can, and should, be stopped.

[_Leslie_]

<SNIP>For me personally, it's reached the point where I dread starting a topic that might end up drowning in trivial or argumentative posts.

<SNIP>.

One of the reasons I've simply been reading for some time as opposed to posting and commenting.

[KatyKing]

Beyond a certain point behaviours are pretty well ingrained and whether Eeyore or Tigger that's how we're going to be. As the worst offender for rambling and justified target for the odd sliding tackle I possibly deserve a yellow card more than most. I only post on here so cumulatively I have more posts than those who can share on several fora. I know I'm a Tigger always have been but every village needs its idiot. As for the resident Eyore he's a very wise if sometimes cranky fellow and this forum and others are the richer for his contributions.
This is a unique space in Spiritualism. Not so much 'party line' more 'party' and like all the best parties there is a nice mix of people.

[mac]

<SNIP>For me personally, it's reached the point where I dread starting a topic that might end up drowning in trivial or argumentative posts.

<SNIP>.

One of the reasons I've simply been reading for some time as opposed to posting and commenting.

It's a sad fact that the bulk of the threads to which I'm a contributor go off-topic and frequently, quote: "....end up drowning in trivial or argumentative posts." It's the nature of the beast.

BUT argument and trivia is like beauty - in the eye of the beholder. I have used, but eventually withdrawn, from various websites where even disagreement (not arguments) can lead to complaints to moderators about 'disrespecting' another member's beliefs. One tiptoes around as if on egg-shells and normal interchange and disagreement becomes impossible.... Trivia isn't trivia to its writer and perhaps they are baffled when it's pointed out that a point is invalid and/or irrelevant to the subject.

Throw into the melting pot that all-too-many posters do not respond to others' postings and forum boards look more like blogs, members just talking about themselves without relating to the topic subject. For me that's much more a problem. The space taken up by off-topic postings can quickly push the original discussion point so far down the page it's effectively lost. For me that's way more frustrating than fractious members and their behaviour could be dealt with early on by moderating their postings.


What's the betting, though, that my frustrations concerning forum work are likely to be be very different from those of others? And consistent with what I wrote above, the worst perpetrators will be totally baffled what I'm wittering on about!

[mac]

Perhaps my best approach is to ignore the tomfoolery of the Tiggers and the shallowness of the bloggers?

I'll make it my long-term goal! I ain't refraining from posting in the meantime though. This and other websites are too important to me.....

[_Leslie_]

<SNIP>
[color=black]It's a sad fact that the bulk of the threads to which I'm a contributor go off-topic and frequently, quote: "....end up drowning in trivial or argumentative posts." It's the nature of the beast.

<SNIP>

Retaining a threads 'topic' in nigh impossible... Yes, I agree its nice and easier to retain it if and where possible, but - discussions as just that 'discussions' and as such naturally - develop... To limit such a development is in my mind in kin with stifling topics.

Actually I've done a search of the posts made by a number of 'regular' posters on this forum and even those who cry out for strict adherence to the threads topic are, on more than one occasion guilty of the same crime they are objecting to.

[KatyKing]

Best way, I enjoy your posts mac.
You must pop down for tea and cake sometime. Blaby's not far from Macclesfield and our church is even nearer to you.

[KatyKing]

Mmm stifled Topics.
Cream on mine please.
:-)

[mac]

Best way, I enjoy your posts mac.
You must pop down for tea and cake sometime. Blaby's not far from Macclesfield and our church is even nearer to you.

Mansfield - not Macclesfield - still not that far, though.... Who knows - I might make it one day?

[mac]

<SNIP>
[color=black]It's a sad fact that the bulk of the threads to which I'm a contributor go off-topic and frequently, quote: "....end up drowning in trivial or argumentative posts." It's the nature of the beast.

<SNIP>

Retaining a threads 'topic' in nigh impossible... Yes, I agree its nice and easier to retain it if and where possible, but - discussions as just that 'discussions' and as such naturally - develop... To limit such a development is in my mind in kin with stifling topics.

Actually I've done a search of the posts made by a number of 'regular' posters on this forum and even those who cry out for strict adherence to the threads topic are, on more than one occasion guilty of the same crime they are objecting to.

"....but - discussions as just that 'discussions' and as such naturally - develop... To limit such a development is in my mind in kin with stifling topics." Within certain limits discussion development and deviation is understandable - I'd guess we'll all have our own view on where those limits start and should end though....

"Actually I've done a.................rence to the threads topic are, on more than one occasion guilty of the same crime they are objecting to." Yeah but even those who try to stay on-topic get ground down by others who won't even make any effort - when in Rome and all that.

I concede that at times any of us may be guilty of deviation (we are after all only frail humans) but who are the more culpable? The ones who try and sometimes fail or those who never try?

This is a set of general observations - not directed at individuals.

[KatyKing]

Did I type Macclesfield? Thats miles away. I meant Mansfield Mac, you told me a while ago you were from there.
Keep an eye on church website and pop along if there';s anything you fancy. Let me know if you're coming and I'll brew up,
http://www.progressivespiritualistchurch.co.uk/

[mac]

Did I type Macclesfield? Thats miles away. I meant Mansfield Mac, you told me a while ago you were from there.
Keep an eye on church website and pop along if there';s anything you fancy. Let me know if you're coming and I'll brew up,
http://www.progressivespiritualistchurch.co.uk/

thanks - I'll keep that offer in mind....

[Quiet]

I have to smile because KK and Mac have taken us 'off topic' again (thank goodness).

Wes, I am a little surprised at your post given what happened here about the aboriginal issue a few weeks ago and your own actions at that time. That thread has been removed now but your actions at that time were quite conflictual. You seemed to be determined to have some sort of argument then. It really disturbed me.

Look, forums mean different things to different people, For some they are places for almost academic discourse and for others they are as much about connectedness and sharing personal experience.

All approaches are valid and some of us simply need to lighten up a little.

I think ......

[mac]

"All approaches are valid and some of us simply need to lighten up a little."

And some of us should realise they don't necessarily know what's right for others.

Lightening up a little is fine in the right situation, as when you're kickin' back with a few bevvies for example.

At other times a serious approach may be preferable.

As adults we can best decide this for ourselves.

[KatyKing]

Time was when Spiritualism and Teetotalism marched hand in hand under the banner of abstinence from strong drink a.k.a 'The devil's buttermilk'.
My drink is water bright
from the crystal stream...
An old Lyceum song began...

[Wes]

Wes, I am a little surprised at your post given what happened here about the aboriginal issue a few weeks ago and your own actions at that time. That thread has been removed now but your actions at that time were quite conflictual. You seemed to be determined to have some sort of argument then. It really disturbed me.

I was angry, there was no disguising that, at the way that thread had been derailed in a most offensive way. That's consistent with the general thrust of this topic, which is perhaps more concerned with ongoing disruptive behaviour.

[mac]

Time was when Spiritualism and Teetotalism marched hand in hand under the banner of abstinence from strong drink a.k.a 'The devil's buttermilk'.
My drink is water bright
from the crystal stream...
An old Lyceum song began...

I'm almost teetotal - it's a start....

[Quiet]

"All approaches are valid and some of us simply need to lighten up a little."

And some of us should realise they don't necessarily know what's right for others.

Very true, Mac. It is too easy to make seeming assumptions about the motivation and intention of others.

[Quiet]

Wes, I am a little surprised at your post given what happened here about the aboriginal issue a few weeks ago and your own actions at that time. That thread has been removed now but your actions at that time were quite conflictual. You seemed to be determined to have some sort of argument then. It really disturbed me.

I was angry, there was no disguising that, at the way that thread had been derailed in a most offensive way. That's consistent with the general thrust of this topic, which is perhaps more concerned with ongoing disruptive behaviour.

I am not going back to read the thread you mentioned in your initial post but I don't see a lot of difference between what you did and what you are complaining about now

If there are posts you and others consider disruptive then simply ignore them and bring the thread back on track yourselves.

For God's sake, we are no longer children. Pardon my exasperation.

I didn't hang around here much in the beginning because the Forum seemed to be dominated by over serious and sometimes grumpy old men. Apologies Petal - you weren't around much when I was first here.

And there were a few other exceptions.

Now that is simply my view.

There are not enough of us here to warrant this kind of nastiness, for heaven's sake

[mac]

"All approaches are valid and some of us simply need to lighten up a little."

And some of us should realise they don't necessarily know what's right for others.

Very true, Mac. It is too easy to make assumptions about the motivation and intention of others, don't you think?

Motivation and intention of others? I don't much think about those factors so I don't really have any experience of making assumptions based on them.

If I have any thoughts about folk they're based on what they say.

[mac]

Wes, I am a little surprised at your post given what happened here about the aboriginal issue a few weeks ago and your own actions at that time. That thread has been removed now but your actions at that time were quite conflictual. You seemed to be determined to have some sort of argument then. It really disturbed me.

I was angry, there was no disguising that, at the way that thread had been derailed in a most offensive way. That's consistent with the general thrust of this topic, which is perhaps more concerned with ongoing disruptive behaviour.

I am not going back to read the thread you mentioned in your initial post but I don't see a lot of difference between what you did and what you are complaining about now

If there are posts you and others consider disruptive then simply ignore them and bring the thread back on track yourselves.

For God's sake, we are no longer children. Pardon my exasperation.

I didn't hang around here much in the beginning because the Forum seemed to be dominated by over serious and sometimes grumpy old men. Apologies Petal - you weren't around much when I was first here.

And there were a few other exceptions.

Now that is simply my view.

There are not enough of us here to warrant this kind of nastiness, for heaven's sake

"If there are posts you and others consider disruptive then simply ignore them and bring the thread back on track yourselves." You could do the same.....

[Quiet]

"If there are posts you and others consider disruptive then simply ignore them and bring the thread back on track yourselves"
You could do the same....."

You've lost me, I'm afraid

I thought this thread was about disruptive behaviour and forum manners?

Enough! I've had enough of the silly pettiness and the occasional sarcasm

I would have expected a more intelligent response from you, Mac.

[mac]

"If there are posts you and others consider disruptive then simply ignore them and bring the thread back on track yourselves"
You could do the same....."

You've lost me, I'm afraid

I thought this thread was about disruptive behaviour and forum manners?

Enough! I've had enough of the silly pettiness and the occasional sarcasm



I would have expected a more intelligent response from you, Mac.

So now you've made it a personal thing by being offensive about my intelligence? pot kettle?

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